Observations on Growing Older

From A Friend of My Dear Wife (H/t)

~Your kids are becoming you...and you don't like them

...but your grandchildren are perfect!

 

~Going out is good.

Coming home is better!

 

~When people say you look "Great"...

they add "for your age!"

 

~When you needed the discount you paid full price.

Now you get discounts on everything ...

movies, hotels, flights, but you're too tired to use them.

 

~You forget names ... but it's OK

because other people forgot

they even knew you!!!

 

~The 5 pounds you wanted to lose

is now 15 and you have a better chance

of losing your keys than the 15 pounds.

 

~You realize you're never going

to be really good at anything .... especially golf.

 

~Your husband is counting on you

to remember things you don't remember.

 

~The things you used to care to do,

you no longer care to do,

but you really do care that you

don't care to do them anymore..

 

~Your husband sleeps better on a lounge chair

with the TV blaring than he does in bed.

It's called his "pre-sleep".

 

~Remember when your mother said

"Wear clean underwear in case you GET in an accident"?

Now you bring clean underwear in case you HAVE an accident!

 

~You used to say,

"I hope my kids GET married ...

Now, "I hope they STAY married!"

 

~You miss the days when everything worked

with just an "ON" and "OFF" switch..

~When GOOGLE, ipod, email, modem ...

were unheard of, and a mouse was something

that made you climb on a table.

 

~Now that you can afford

expensive jewelry, it's not safe to wear it anywhere.

 

~Your husband has a night out with the guys

but he's home by 9:00 P.M. ...next week it will be 8:30 P.M.

 

~You read 100 pages into a book before you realize you've read it.

 

~Notice everything they sell in stores is "sleeveless"?!!!

 

~What used to be freckles are now liver spots.

 

~Everybody whispers.

~Now that your husband has retired ...

you'd give anything if he'd find a job!

 

~You have 3 sizes of clothes in your closet ....

2 of which you will never wear.

 

~~~~But old is good in some things:

old songs

old movies

And best of all OLD FRIENDS!!

Old friends are good, but friends are good period.