Man to Man - First Thoughts

Father James Farfaglia

A couple of weeks ago, I ordered Father James Farfaglia's book, Man to Man, through the web site link that you can find over on the left side of this blog page, near the top, or here. I have been waiting very impatiently for it to arrive, and yesterday it did. I am only halfway through my first reading of this fantastic book, but do not want to wait another day to start commenting on it.

If Christian men were to follow Father James' direction in this book, there would be a sexual counter revolution such as described by Jennifer Hartline in her Catholic Online article in September 2009 here, which concluded with the following exhortation.

It’s time for a radical revolution of responsibility; a revolution of reverence for sex and reverence for life.It is time for a sexual counter-revolution which liberates men and women, honors marriage and reaffirms the beauty and dignity of human love in the Divine Plan.

If I had read and taken to heart what Father James has written today, back in the early days of the sexual revolution, which was less of a revolution than a high jacking, I am certain that my life would have been happier. There would have been less seeds of destruction sowed by and for me and for those that I claimed to love along the way, including my three lovely daughters and my former wife, their mother. Additionally, if by some set of circumstances I still had ended up meeting and marrying my current wife, she would have known deep in her heart from the very beginning that I loved her with my whole heart, and much, if not all, of the sorrow that has happened in our relationship would never have occurred.

Recently, one of our daughters asked me if her mother and I still did . . . you know. Before I could answer her, she said: "Wait, I don't want to know." So, I never got to answer, but I did get to think of the answer. Here is the answer that I would give her, if she allowed me to answer. "Yes and no."

But, the No part of the answer is the most important one. My dear wife, who I love more and more each and every day, and I have had an extended period of continence, which is defined as "a refraining from sexual intercourse." We did not set out to do this, but fell into it through illness, in part, and also something going on inside each of us that led us to this time without actually discussing it at any great length.

As a child of the sexual revolution, unwitting though I was, I have been dragged around by my johnson in one sense, though it was really me dragging myself around like a pull toy for all these years. The dark purpose of the sexual revolution was to convince modern man, that sex was really a recreational pursuit, where no harm, no foul meant that guy meets girl, guy boinks girl, while girl boinks him back, and everyone goes away sexually satisfied and happy.

With sadness, I recount that I participated in the revolution. I watched the videos, read the stories, looked at the pictures. I experimented with the techniques, and various partners, or did it by myself, at times when a partner was not available. Even with all that, I have never thought abortion was right, and I came to believe the correct Church teaching about the evils of birth control. But, inside me lust was still burning, and I thought it was normal, deluded individual that I was.

Along the way, I came to the conclusion that pornography and sexual fantasizing was not making me happy, and was having a negative impact on my marriage. I eventually came to realise that whenever I felt lonely, I wanted some sexual titillation to "make me happy." But, it never did. I always felt empty, and even more alone. So, tell me why I was drawn to things that may have tickled my fancy, but left me empty and alone.

I have had many years of physical disability, along with my wife's illnesses to ponder these things, and more importantly to pray about them, and to seek God's will in all of this. Over the years the flames of my lust diminished, but still there was this small ember that could spark up at certain times.

But, a number of things have happened in this year, 2009 that have opened my eyes to God's will in my life even more, and to my role as a husband and father. While the spark of my lust diminished, the spark of my love for my wife and my children grew into a large, very hot, purging flame.

This period of continence between my dear wife and me is but a sign of the love growing in me for her and for others. How many men have said to a woman, "If you loved me you would . . . ", which of course, has nothing to do with love and everything to do with lust.

How many men have said to the woman that they love: "I adore you and want to honour you in everything I do in our relationship." Better yet, how many men have put action into honouring their loved one?

By the grace of a loving God, the one whose birth we are celebrating in just 2 more days, I am doing just that, honouring my dear wife, and growing in love of her more and more each and every day. How long will this period of continence last? I have no idea, and not a serious care in the world about it. My flesh does, but not my heart, and for the first time in my life, I am really following my heart, and loving it, and HER. And above that, I love my GOD, who is healing me of the things that prevent me from being more like Him every day.

So, men, here is what I offer to you. If you want to be happy for the rest of your lives, jump off the sexual revolution bandwagon. Even if you just have the toe of lust on that bandwagon, your life is not free. Read Jennifer Hartline's article from Catholic Online linked above, and get Fr. James Farfaglia's book "Man to Man" also linked above. And above all, pray for the grace to be a real lover.

I guarantee you that if you follow this advice, you will make the woman in your life the happiest woman in the world, and yourself the happiest man in the world.

Sorry, No Room At The Inn

US Health Reform Tells the Unborn

Jennifer Hartline over at Catholic Online and My Chocolate Heart asks the question: "How can we welcome the Infant King when we refuse to welcome our own infants?"

For those of us who live in Canada, US Health Reform (what an oxymoron that is) will possibly, if successful take Americans to state funded abortion. Here, in Canada, we have had abortions funded by the state for years. We hardly bat an eye here in Canada; we are so politically correct. Do you think we could muster up a little more love and concern for the unborn here in Canada. folks?

In the New Year, I will be telling some stories of a mother and father, who fought to keep their newborn infant alive, and have been fighting to find truth in what happened in their daughter's short life.

But, for the moment, ponder this. If a 15 year old, unmarried, Jewish girl was pregnant today, she would be pestered by everybody she knew to have an abortion. She would be lied to, and manipulated to have her baby rent from her womb in shreds, with the blood of that baby's death on her hands, and on the hands of the abortionist and staff at the abortion mill. But, it does not end there; it would also be on your hands and my hands because we have allowed it to happen. We have stood by and said and done nothing to prevent it.

Yet, Jesus Christ, our Lord and Saviour, would still love us so much, that he would find a way to come to earth as a human being, and he would still allow himself to be killed, for each and every one of our sakes. Then, he would be resurrected by the power of God, who He is, to show you and me that death has no power over Him, nor over us. He loves us that much.

Oh, and Mary, that pregnant, 15 year old Jewish girl, knew who she was carrying in her womb, and would not have allowed him to die by abortion. She knew that the child in her womb was made in the image and likeness of God, like all children, but she also knew who this little child was that was in her womb. Oh, that reminds me; every child, once conceived is in the image and likeness of God. Does that give you any thoughts about how evil abortion is?

Oh, and here is a song to that infant King, Jesus.

Anyway, here is what Mrs. Hartline has to say:

There is no room in the Inn. That much has not changed. But this year, it’s not simply that the sign says “No Vacancies” – it’s that the sign being nailed to the front door reads, “Not Wanted. We could make room, but you’re Not Welcome. Go Away or Be Killed.”

That is the chorus rising up from the din in Washington, D.C. this weekend. We know exactly what human life costs – the price of a vote. Be it millions or billions, there is ultimately a figure at which men will sell each other for personal gain. I suppose that fact has always been true, but this year it seems much more profane because the ones being sold to the executioner are our own children.

It is unspeakably crass and repugnant that Reid and this Administration are demanding this national monstrosity be finalized by Christmas. It is a sad, sad testament to the fact that our nation has lost its soul. We will commemorate the birth of the Christ Child by passing legislation that mandates the use of people’s tax dollars to pay for abortion nationwide. “Happy Birthday, Jesus. I guess You’re lucky to have made it out of the womb alive.”

It is a telling irony that we should not miss. We should pay close attention to the bitterness of this timeline and heed the warning. How can we welcome the Infant King when we refuse to welcome our own infants? Indeed, we do not welcome our own children precisely because we do not welcome Christ. It is no wonder we don’t recognize Him.

That our government is hell-bent (pun intended) on passing this “health care” reform by their self-imposed Christmas deadline screams loudly of their determination to turn a deaf ear to the people, cover their eyes to the lunacy of their own legislative actions, and steamroll ahead without caring in the least who they run over. They are public non-servants without integrity or honor. And they bow and pay considerable homage to our non-Leader. They want to hand him this bill as a Christmas gift… how heartrendingly ironic.

The Magi traveled far to bring their most precious gifts to the Newborn King, to bow before Him in worship and give glory to God. This week, our nation just might bow to our phony king and give him not our precious gifts of love, but the blood of our children and the broken spirits of their mothers.

It has certainly cast a shadow over this joyous Christmas. My heart feels much like the verse Henry Longfellow penned in 1864:

And in despair I bowed my head
“There is no peace on earth,” I said.
“For hate is strong and mocks the song
Of peace on earth, good will to men.”

Thankfully Longfellow didn’t end there, but went on to declare the undefeatable truth:

Then peeled the bells more loud and deep:
“God is not dead, nor doth He sleep;
The wrong shall fail, the right prevail
With peace on earth, good will to men.”

With greater urgency than ever before, those who will welcome and love this Christ Child must raise their voices, clear as a bell, and ring out the praises of our Newborn King. Greetings of Merry Christmas are regarded as offensive, images of the manger scene are forcibly taken down, and carols which mention Jesus are silenced in public. And now we may greet Him on Christmas morning with a sword.

Enough. Wherever you are, let your voice be as the loudly peeling Christmas bells in joyful praise and humble gratitude. God came. Christ the King is born!

We must also, immediately, make our voices heard in the halls of the Senate and the White House and tell them that we will not accept this Death Bill and it is shameful of them to pass such a thing on the Eve of the Lord’s birth. Pray tonight that God will raise up men and women in power who will find the courage they have thus far lacked, the clarity they have thus far not had, and will now decide to reject this terrible bill and demand that all human life be protected.

A vote on cloture could come by midnight Sunday or the wee hours of Monday morning. Do not wait – call your Senators right now. This is the moment to speak out. Proclaim the dignity of every child as we wait to welcome the Christ Child. And pray!

I beg our sweet Jesus to forgive us for what we are doing to Him, to our children. Make us turn to you, Lord. Show us Your face, and we shall be saved. Come Emmanuel… and be Thyself our King of Peace.

-----
Jennifer Hartline is a Catholic Army wife and stay-at-home mother of three precious kids who writes frequently on topics of Catholic faith and daily living. She is a contributing writer for Catholic Online.

Deacon Keith Fournier asks that you join with us and help in this vital mission by sending this article to your family, friends, and neighbors and adding our link (www.catholic.org) to your own website, blog or social network. Let us broadcast, we are PROUD TO BE CATHOLIC!

Joy And Magic

Reproduction of a Column from Last Year

Jennifer Hartline reproduces a column that she wrote last year about the Joy and Magic of Christmas, and I reproduced it here with her permission. Hopefully, the reproduction of a reproduction does not diminish the clarity of the message.

Well, the headlines this week have really got me down and scared. Our country is truly sinking fast into a black abyss.
So, I really needed to read this one today. (Bear with me while I re-run another post from last Christmas.) Today I'm fighting tooth and nail not to wallow in despair at the current state of things in the world.
I miss innocence and purity and joy. Anybody else feel that way? So, in the fighting spirit, I will not surrender, but will hold onto the innocence and joy of the Infant King and the magic of Santa.
Hope you enjoy it, too.

I have a confession to make.

I’m 38 years old, and I still believe in Santa Claus.

Okay, I suppose that’s not entirely accurate. My heads knows that Santa isn’t real, but my heart refuses to accept it. I’m pretty sick of my head lately, so I’m going with my heart.

I watched The Polar Express tonight with my daughters,

and they weren’t the only ones giddy with excitement. They weren’t the only ones mesmerized by the magical train as it sailed across the ice toward the North Pole. They weren’t the only ones who cheered out loud when Santa held up the silver bell and announced, “The first gift of Christmas!”

I was completely caught up in the thrill, the wonder,

the delight…the MAGIC.

I caught myself smiling from ear to ear and felt my heartbeat quicken with anticipation. For a while I forgot how old I was, and I felt lighthearted. I felt like a child again.

And then, oh…reality reemerged. I’m all grown up, with worries and responsibilities, and problems I can’t solve. My fleeting moment of childlike joy was fading.

But I am a stubborn woman and sometimes that works to my advantage. Tonight is one of those nights. I have decided that I will not surrender my childlike joy. I’m not handing it over to grown-up reality and you can’t make me!

I’m going to cling to that feeling of wonder like my toddler clings to my leg when she doesn’t want me to leave. I want that sense of delight engraved on my brain with rainbow sprinkles. I’m going to pretend I’m a child again this Christmas.

Jesus likes children.

Jesus likes children so much He came to us as a child. He left explicit instructions about how we are to approach God if we desire to enter the kingdom of heaven. We are to “become like little children…” Trusting. Unpretentious. Joyful. Innocent.

That’s what I’m missing with such a profound longing…my innocence. That’s what I was reminded of while watching a magical movie with my girls. (Sigh) I miss my innocence.

Susan Ashton sings a great song about this called Innocence Lost.

“Lullabies and pennies in a wishing well

Sad goodbyes to friends of make-believe

A love so pure, a treasure

Now buried in the sea of me

Milton lost his paradise

Dorothy lost her way

Vincent lost his sanity

Thomas lost his faith

Hoover lost the second time

Sigmund lost his friend

Me, I lost my innocence

And I want it back again”

I understand that I will never be five years old again, but I desperately want some measure of that childlike innocence back again. I want unadulterated joy and wonder, the kind that makes me dance
and sing out loud.

Maybe that’s part of what Jesus meant when He told us to become like little children. Humble in spirit, yes, but also innocent in heart and excited in our faith in Him. After all, He’s everything we ever could and ever have wished for! He came true!!

And tonight as I got lost in my childlike detour, I realized something wonderful. My mind and my heart were rushing with thoughts of Him. Even better than the fantasy is the reality! I was tingling with joyful anticipation of Christmas day, not for the sake of presents brought by Santa, but because I can hardly wait to celebrate THE GIFT.

It seems this indulgence in make-believe has caused me to recognize all over again -- but with purer eyes – the JOY of Christmas! JESUS came as one of us; born a poor, helpless infant…He whom the universe cannot contain now sleeps cradled in Mary’s arms.

There will be plenty of days ahead to turn our attentions toward the serious business of life, but for now, I say it is time to be filled with childlike awe and wonder and joy for the gift God has given us. It is time to recapture some of our innocence again, and linger there for awhile.

Emmanuel…God is with us…the angels are singing GLORIA! I think I’ll join them.

I myself, have long since lost my innocence, and by the grace of Our Loving Saviour, and his self giving birth, death and resurrection, I have also lost my Guilt. I have been born again into His innocence, the innocence of a child in a manger, and even more so into the innocence of the Man Jesus, bought and paid for by His Blood.

God is with Us. And so I leave you with Amy Grant's "Emmanuel, God With Us."

When Sex Becomes a False God

We have a new false god, Sex.

"Our society worships at the altar of sex, and by extension, the altar of abortion."

This is the introduction to Jennifer Hartline's latest article here at Catholic Online. There are elements of this piece that are American, like the references to Planned Parenthood. However, PP is just the name of an organisation and she is really talking about a system, and that same system exists in Canada.

In case there’s any doubt, it’s not true that Americans don’t worship. We are indeed still a nation that faithfully goes to the altar to worship and give our lives. We give our money & our time, and we choose our leaders accordingly. Some things are worth protecting and defending, so we make darn sure the important things are kept safe.

What has changed is the object of our worship. No longer is the one we adore holy and all-powerful. No longer is our master a loving and merciful one. We have a new god.

Sex is a new false god. Our society worships at the altar of sex, and by extension, the altar of abortion. Every part of our daily lives seems to glorify and revolve around sex. There is no escaping the pervasive presence of indulgent sex. It has infiltrated every corner of our culture and radically changed the way we view ourselves and the way we treat each other.

Satan has so skillfully enslaved us in a prison of self-centeredness and obsession with sex that he no longer has to convince us to come to this altar – we come running of our own volition. We can’t get enough sex. Bondage tastes like freedom on our tongues and we beg for more. We are addicted to our lethal injection.

St. Paul warns us so specifically about sexual sin because it is so uniquely effective in destroying us from the inside out. “Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.” 1 Cor 6:18-20

The worst damage we inflict on ourselves isn’t physical; it’s mental and spiritual. When everything we say and do is viewed through the lens of sexuality we reduce ourselves to animals without souls or higher reasoning. We turn our wills over to the greedy whims of physical desire, so that the final goal of every decision is our own pleasure.

We lose our ability to think! We lose our ability to determine right from wrong and the power to choose anything contrary to the insatiable demands of physical satisfaction. We no longer see our own soul, let alone the soul of another. People can be used and discarded and life can be destroyed, as long as the sex god is appeased and revered.

We are completely, thoroughly saturated with sex. Our old boundaries of propriety, modesty and discretion have been completely broken down and paved through with highways of constant visual titillation. What once seemed outrageous is now normal. What once caused us to blush with embarrassment now elicits applause. What we once would have shunned, we embrace in the spirit of enlightenment and progress.

What we once called evil is now good. Satan doesn’t have to destroy us; he simply has to persuade us the fruit of the tree is all we’ve ever dreamed of, and we will gladly destroy ourselves. He has, and we are. We are even willing and eager to sacrifice our children on this altar.

In fact, our society is structured so that our children are virtually guaranteed to offer themselves on the altar of sex and abortion. Massive, obscene amounts of money are spent making sure our kids are bombarded with sexual imagery, sexual music, sexual movies, sexual books, sexual everything until they are convinced of their sacrosanct “right” to gratify themselves in every way possible without restriction or consequence.

Thus a new generation of worshipers is molded and the peddlers of deadly sex have enough loyal customers to keep them in business. The chief peddler of our time is Planned Parenthood. PP has a vested interest in making sure our teenagers are as sexually active as possible. They want our kids to “need” contraception and “need” treatment for STD’s, and ultimately, to “need” abortion. If young people were to stop having promiscuous sex, PP would soon go out of business, and they won't let that happen. They must sell their “reproductive health services” to the next generation if they are to stay profitable.

Planned Parenthood says their mission is to provide help, information, medical care, and to protect women. Bull. Their ignoble “business” is the corruption of our kids. Their solvency is secured through the killing of children in the womb. They profit off the diseases and heartache our children suffer because they have done exactly what PP wanted them to do in the first place: have lots of sex.

A chaste couple waiting to have sex until marriage has no need for PP's services. Single women who use the common sense God gave them and refrain from sex don't need PP for anything. Teenagers who are encouraged to cherish their virginity, to treat each other with respect and care for their own bodies

properly have no need for anything PP has to offer. PP knows this. They know that modesty, abstinence, respect, virtue, and self-control are their enemies, and so their goal is to break down the innocence and purity of our kids as early as possible, to indoctrinate them into the immoral mindset that pushes them into having sex young and often, and then bullies them into believing abortion is the answer.

We cannot effectively address the evil of abortion in the U.S. until we confront our culture’s worship of sex and the attack on our children’s innocence. The remedy is a sexual counter-revolution, led by people of moral courage and virtue. The blind cannot lead the blind.

Using a condom does not protect the heart or the mind from the lingering effects of unmarried sex. The Pill will not protect a young lady's heart or her self-respect after she has been used for pleasure and then discarded. Killing the new life in the womb will not preserve a woman's future or her freedom. We cannot shrink from conveying that truth to society.

Where is the plain talk about sex? Where is the truth about sexual relations, about male and female differences, about making love, about marriage and family? No honest person can deny the multi-dimensional effects of promiscuous sex. The evidence is incontrovertible. Children everywhere without fathers, and young mothers without husbands. Young people grow up with no concept of commitment and no idea what love really looks like. Teenagers are taught to “explore” their sexuality, told that sexual exploits are normal, healthy, and part of finding out who they are, while all along the way they are infected with diseases and catapulted into parenthood long before they are ready, because the only armor we gave them was a piece of latex.

The risks of promiscuous sex are so great, and the point is, they are risks no one HAS to take. The dangers can be completely avoided. People who abstain will not get STD's. They will not “need” abortions. They will not create single-parent families that struggle to survive. On the contrary, people who abstain, who wait for marriage, will be physically healthy, emotionally healthy, and will more surely have a stable foundation on which to build a family.

Yet, I know many people are already saying, “Teenagers are going to have sex no matter what we do. Unmarried people are going to have sex no matter what the Church or anyone else says. Abstinence doesn't work.” Planned Parenthood insists kids are going to do it anyway, so we need to supply them with condoms to keep them “safe.” So says the industry that would cease to exist if people stopped making illicit sex a lifestyle.

It is a lazy cop-out to say, “Well, they're gonna do it no matter what I say...” Sure, they just might. That's true. They might also take the car keys without your permission when they don't have a driver's license and go cruising, but I don't hear anyone arguing that we should pretend not to notice. They might also listen, watch, learn, and change – if they saw their parents showing them how.

It is sheer madness not to teach abstinence. It is the only way to protect our kids from the numerous, serious risks of unmarried sexual activity, but instead we goad them into behavior that can literally change their lives in an instant.

It simply makes no sense whatsoever not to put the full weight of our country’s resources and our energy behind a nationwide abstinence campaign. We haven't done that yet, so we can't sit back and say it won't work. We haven't tried.

We won’t keep every teenager from having sex, but we can impact a huge number of them with the truth about sex, the truth about love and commitment, the truth about human life, and protect them from the manifold dangers that come with unmarried sex. We could begin to change our culture and restore our children’s dignity and wholeness. Or we could just keep sacrificing them on the altar of sex.

We know what Planned Parenthood wants.

-----
Jennifer Hartline is a Catholic Army wife and stay-at-home mother of three precious kids who writes frequently on topics of Catholic faith and daily living. She is a contributing writer for Catholic Online.

- - -
Deacon Keith Fournier asks that you join with us and help in this vital mission by sending this article to your family, friends, and neighbors and adding our link (www.catholic.org) to your own website, blog or social network. Let us broadcast, we are PROUD TO BE CATHOLIC!

Jennifer Hartline Has a Tiger By the Tail

Mary, the Immaculate Conception, Points the Way

Jennifer Hartline at Advent 2009

Here is my final word on the Immaculate Conception, our Spiritual Mother, The Blessed Virgin Mary. Well, it's not really my final word, it is the words of Jennifer Hartline, one of my favourite Catholic authors. Over at Advent 2009, she has this column for today. Her blockbuster introduction is the following:

You and I may have to struggle to see through this glass darkly for now, but we can learn from Mary how to keep one eye on eternity.

Now read what else she has to day for the Feast of the Immaculate Conception of our Dear Mother:

December 8th has been on my mind for many weeks now. I don’t think this feast day has ever been on my radar screen so intensely before, but this year I am joyfully anticipating Mary’s special day. Perhaps the greatest blessing of my Christian life in recent years is the ever-deepening devotion to the Blessed Mother that I am experiencing. It is really an amazing gift.

While thinking one day about Mary, the Immaculate Conception, I heard from a dear friend of mine that she had just lost her mother. Joanne is a faith-filled woman and she knows that her mother is with the Lord, yet I know she is hurting terribly. I cannot imagine her pain. I don’t even want to think about the day I might have to bury my parents. I’m not ready to lose them and I never, ever will be. I’m certain Joanne feels the same.

Yet I know that days of grief, sadness, loss and loneliness are inevitable. They will come for all of us in one way or another. We won’t escape this life without pain; sometimes terrible, unspeakable pain. This is a subject of great consternation with me and one I go round and round with God over. I often have trouble finding mercy and grace in the midst of horrible suffering, and I can’t stand the empty platitudes and greeting card remedies because they just don’t cut it.

I ask, “Why?” I ask, “How could You allow this?” I ask, “Where are You?” I ask, “Where were You?” I don’t think I’ve ever gotten an answer that really satisfies. I’m simply drawn back again and again to the scenes of that terrible Friday we call “Good” to dwell on the agony of Jesus – and the anguish of His Mother. And I wonder – how did she do it? How did she remain perfectly, completely faithful, trusting and obedient?

She must’ve had a participation in the eternal vision. From the moment Gabriel said “Hail” til the moment Jesus ascended to heaven, Mary somehow saw what her own physical eyes alone could never have revealed to her. With no sin to cloud her view, her spirit saw God in everything, in all times and places and events.

Somehow amidst all the evil that day in Jerusalem, evil so thick and tangible she could probably taste it, she never wavered. Did her obedience serve to keep her faith suspended above the turmoil, separate from the anguish in her heart, protected from despair? I wonder… did the curtain become transparent for her? Was it as though the bloody scene she was witnessing was painted on a window, and she was able to look through it and see the purpose? Jesus went like a lamb to the slaughter and Mary quietly walked beside, the willing companion to His sufferings.

Were Simeon’s words from long ago suddenly coming back to her like a thunderbolt? “A sword shall pierce your own soul, too.” After a lifetime spent treasuring these things in her heart, pondering what they meant, was it all becoming clear to her? “You are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.”

Here finally is what her obedience has reaped. This is what her faith has helped secure. As Jesus paid our ransom with His blood, she joined her tears of humble assent. The sweetest of all women, most pure and mild, showed the fortitude of the strongest steel because she’d so lovingly and freely offered her will entirely to the Father’s. Again, she found herself saying, “I am the handmaid of the Lord. Be it done to me according to your word.”

This is how it’s meant to be for each of us. Strength to withstand our trials comes from uttering a humble, “Thy will be done.” By opening our hands to accept even the bitterest tokens of grace, we are given the peace the world cannot give and the power to remain faithful.

It means learning to see with spiritual eyes; seeing our lives, our pains, our losses, our tragedies with an eternal perspective. Everything here is fleeting. All trials, all troubles, all heartaches, sacrifices, grief and burden here are but a moment in the light of eternity. Though it feels so permanent and never-ending, it will not last forever. The trouble is, that doesn’t seem to lessen our grief and it doesn’t make it easier to accept the horrible things that happen that should never happen.

We rightly recoil from such pain and horror. Our instinct is to run and kick and scream and rage, not to bow our heads and open our hands to receive God’s severe will. This is why it is the most priceless gift to have our Lord’s own Mother as our helper and refuge. She knows what it means to be pierced by a sword in her very soul. She has endured the very worst pain hell can dish out.

Yet she did not resist or refuse, but gave herself over completely to God’s purposes. We are the beneficiaries of her faith and love and surrender. Her obedience then was part of God’s plan of salvation for all of us; her unmatched example of humility and faith is the standard we strive for; her Motherly love and care now is our sweet comfort. We do not endure alone; she has done it before us and walks beside us now in our need.

You and I may have to struggle to see through this glass darkly for now, but we can learn from Mary how to keep one eye on eternity. Weeping may endure for this very long night, but joy comes in the morning! Mary shows us how to see eternity through the now, and how to triumph over evil – “Do whatever He tells you.”

Thank you, gracious Mother, Immaculate Conception! Give us your faith filled and eternal vision!

-----
Jennifer Hartline is a Catholic Army wife and stay-at-home mother of three precious kids who writes frequently on topics of Catholic faith and daily living. She is a contributing writer for Catholic Online.

Deacon Keith Fournier asks that you join with us and help in this vital mission by sending this article to your family, friends, and neighbors and adding our link (www.catholic.org) to your own website, blog or social network. Let us broadcast, we are PROUD TO BE CATHOLIC!

Hail Mary

Full of Grace

As Catholics around the world celebrate the Feast of the Immaculate Conception, I thought that we might enjoy reading a piece that Jennifer Hartline wrote last year about this time about our Blessed Mother at her blog My Chocolate Heart. I totally agree with her, and appreciate the loving way that she speaks of our dear Mother Mary.

One of my favorite things about being Catholic (there are many) is enjoying a rich and blessed friendship with Mary. This time of year that friendship is particularly sweet. Contemplating the endless ways Mary leads my heart to Jesus is in itself a feast for the mind and soul.

Today, though, I was thinking how strange it is that Mary is the source of so much contention and strife between Catholics and Protestants. How is it that arguably the most faithful, obedient, trusting and loving follower of Christ ever can be such a lightening rod of controversy? What Christian wouldn't want to follow her example?

Can any of us say we would have the faith and courage to do what she did?

Would you?

Would I?



She obeyed at the risk of her own life. Joseph had the legal right to have her stoned to death and she knew it. It's not as though Gabriel told her, "Don't worry about Joseph's reaction. I'm going to explain everything to him." Her instinct to obey the Lord was stronger than any instinct for self-preservation. From the word "Go" she was only interested in doing God's will completely. The cost did not matter.

Later, she did something much, much harder than risking her own life. She witnessed her son's execution. She did it without losing her faith, without ever breaking trust with God.

Now, I'm not a physically imposing woman. Okay, I'm a total wimp. I probably couldn't punch my way out of a paper bag. But I assure you, if you threaten one of my children, I'll take you out with my bare hands. Period. Now you've made Mama Bear angry, and you're in trouble.
But Mary, so full of grace, walked every inch of the road to Calvary with Jesus and stood at the foot of His cross. She listened to the cursing, hateful, vile wickedness being spewed at Jesus from his murderers (that would be me), and never intervened to stop it. Can you even imagine that? As a mother, could you watch and do nothing while someone brutally killed your child even if you knew it would save someone else? (Someone who didn't deserve it!)

She quietly restrained herself and trusted God to accomplish His plan. She squelched the mother's instinct to protect her child, the urge to trample those who hurt her baby out of perfect obedience, humility and TRUST. She knew God, knew He was faithful and knew she wanted to cooperate with His will.

If that's not a perfect example of loving and serving God with all your heart, soul,
and strength, then I don't know what is.


How amazingly wonderful it is to have such a woman for a friend...a blessed mother...the Blessed Mother. Gentle woman, tower of strength, beacon of faith, humble servant...O, highly favored daughter!

Now I pray that God will enable me to grow in grace and follow her example...

I am the handmaid of the Lord...Let it be done to me according to your word."

Falling In Love With God

The Greatest Romance

Jennifer Hartline, as readers know is a Catholic writer I greatly respect for her way with words, but more so for her deep faith, and wisdom. Here again is one of her Catholic Online pieces.

She opens by reminding us of one of St. Augustine's famous statements: "To fall in love with God is the greatest of romances, to seek Him the greatest adventure, to find Him the greatest human achievement."

St. Augustine, was born in 354 AD, and was the son of a pagan father, and a Christian mother, St. Monica. He was a rounder in his younger days, living in sin with a mistress for 10 years. His mother was very patient, probably not as patient as God, but patient none the less. She prayed fervently for Augustine's and her own husband's conversion to the Faith. She was not above a little skulduggery in her desire for her son's conversion, enlisting a bishop to talk him in to the faith, unsuccessfully I might add. I don't think she prayed for him to get hit over the head with a baseball bat like my dear mother did. But she was fervent in her prayers and those prayers were answered for both her husband and her son.

The city of Santa Monica California is named after her, and of course, St. Augustine Florida is named after her son. Presumably the father commutes between the two.

Why I pay attention to Augustine here is that he is a good example of how the prayers of a parent are answered in and for the children, which reminds me that I must pray for my children and stepchildren fervently for a growth in the seed of faith that resides in them. But, it is also and even more so a sign of how God can bring a sinner to himself, when the sinner chooses God over the sin. His writing on his battle with sexual sin and lust is powerful for all of us who have left behind such sin, and battle with it regularly because of its pull on our minds and bodies. It is a wonderful example of good triumphing over evil by the power of prayer.

Anyway, here is what the good Mrs. Hartline wrote back in June of 2009 about Falling in Love with God:

There are days when I do battle with a deadly spiritual malady, a form of spiritual heart disease. It comes in two forms, both rather sneaky in how they creep up on me and worm their way into my heart. They are cynicism and indifference. It’s not so much that I choose them; it’s that I make no effort to refuse them.

Clearly, many of us are suffering this malady. This is the disease that zaps our energy and steals our excitement. It leaves us weary and lazy and full of handy excuses. It eats away at devotion and leaves our souls empty. Christendom in America is deeply infected with this life-sapping sickness. It is why so many Christians have been enticed and beguiled by power and popularity and persuaded to compromise. Without passion, without zeal, without fervor, we are lifeless and faith is so easily cast aside.

St. Augustine prescribes the cure: We need a new romance. "To fall in love with God is the greatest of romances, to seek Him the greatest adventure, to find Him the greatest human achievement." What the cynical and indifferent heart needs is a healthy dose of romance.

We have every reason to be enthralled in romance! The greatest gesture of love known to the universe was made toward each of us by the Author of True Love. We are not simply liked and enjoyed; we are passionately, deeply, obsessively loved!

How does it go again?

“God so understood the world…”
“God so cared for the world…”
“God so respected the world…”
“God so accepted the world…”
“God so disdained the world…”
“God so rejected the world…”

No…God so LOVED the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him will not perish but have everlasting life. God made a bold and unflinching proclamation of abiding, endless love to all mankind, and Jesus came to be made a fool of, all in the hope that He would win the hearts of His beloved ones. Only a passionate lover is willing to look foolish for his beloved.

People, we desperately need a new romance. We need to take a good, long look with fresh eyes at the Lover of our souls and internalize the high price He paid for the chance to be reunited with us. I hope we have not stared at our painted images of God for so long that we are no longer impressed by what we see, for it’s not the typical picture of enchantment. Unadulterated passion and pure, ambitious love are not presented to us in flowers and sunsets, but in straw, wood, nails and blood.

I wonder in our day if we can even comprehend the nature of real love. Do we spend much time anymore contemplating a love that isn’t sexual or pleasure-oriented? Are we even inclined to pursue an endeavor that demands self-sacrifice?

“There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God – having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with them.” 2 Tim 3:1-5

We have lost the fervor of our affection for God because we have become deadened to the meaning of real love. Love gives. Love is not self-seeking. Love cannot keep anything for itself. This kind of love is increasingly foreign to us. Like some kind of Dead Sea that only receives and never gives of itself to anyone else, we die inside because we don’t love. We must make a concerted effort to dwell on this crazy, extravagant love of God until it captures us again in the flush of romance. We need to fall in love with Jesus. It is the only cure for the cynical and indifferent heart.

We need that love to make us fearless in our devotion. We need the kind of passion that turns us into willing fools, people who couldn’t care less what the world thinks of us. I want the kind of passion and love for Christ that is oblivious to everything but Him. If He holds my heart, I need nothing else. The sound of His voice makes my heart pound, and there’s no room in my ears for any scorn or insult. I say I want this kind of passion and love because I’m not quite there yet. But I’m being wooed, and the more I attend to His affection, the more this romance grows, and the more my heart longs only for Jesus. I want the love described in the Song of Solomon: “Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame. Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away.”

This is the love that turns ordinary people into saints! This is the love that turns you and me into the hands and feet of Jesus in the world. This is the love that softens the most hardened of hearts, the love the world simply cannot ignore. It is this love that gives us courage and compels us to be faithful no matter the cost.

The heart in love with Jesus has no room for compromise or deception, since it only desires more of Jesus. The moral courage and conviction we lack, the absence of zeal and fervor in our faith is easily cured, if we will purposely incline ourselves toward Him. It is a sweet romance that beckons to us…let us fall in love again!

-----
Jennifer Hartline is a Catholic Army wife and stay-at-home mother of three precious kids who writes frequently on topics of Catholic faith and daily living. She is a contributing writer for Catholic Online.
- - -
Deacon Keith Fournier asks that you join with us and help in this vital mission by sending this article to your family, friends, and neighbors and adding our link (www.catholic.org) to your own website, blog or social network. Let us broadcast, we are PROUD TO BE CATHOLIC!

Fall in love with God. He is already in love with you, and will meet you wherever you want.

Time for A Sexual Counter-Revolution

Jennifer Hartline from Catholic Online

Jennifer starts this beautiful piece with the following thesis:

It's time for a sexual counter-revolution which liberates men and women, honors marriage and reaffirms the dignity of human love.

This piece was written in September before some changes occurred in the current status of the Obama Health Care legislation, but aside from that is a pretty inspiring and timely article. It begins as follows:

With our government on the verge of passing health care legislation that, absent explicit language placed within it prohibiting Federal funds from being used for abortion, will mandate abortion coverage paid for by you and me, I figure now’s a good time for a radical discussion about sex. We’ll never change the way we view abortion until we change our attitudes about sex. It’s time for a sexual counter-revolution.

As she says, "We will never change the way we view abortion until we change our attitudes about sex." I could not agree more, and it is not just up to our priests and religious leaders to fight this fight, but for all people of good will to join in.

As she continues, she tells about simple choices and easy choices and how they differ:

The sanctity of human life from the moment of conception throughout all of life up to and including a natural death is the only foundation our society will ever be able to stand upon if we hope to flourish as a truly free people. It’s quite obvious our foundation is crumbling. To repair it, we must go back to square one and correct our ideas about sex. Unless we give sexual intercourse its due reverence, we’ll never give human life its due reverence. The two can never be separated, as Pope Paul VI tried to tell the world in his prophetic encyclical, Humanae Vitae. If we don’t regard all life as sacred – and thus the creative act of sex—then we will always find ways to rationalize and justify the murder of a child as a “right.”

I’m not naively suggesting that prior to 1973 people were all living chaste and faithful lives and that sex was held in the highest esteem by all, to be expressed within the bond of marriage. I am saying that the decision to legalize the killing of our preborn children cemented a poisonous shift in our mentality, and that poison has corroded every aspect of our society, especially our treatment of sex. We replaced responsibility with “rights” and it’s been a downhill race toward insatiable debauchery ever since.

One criticism I hear often from people is that I and other Pro-Life folks ignore the real cause of abortions: unexpected/unwanted pregnancies. What needs to be addressed, they say, is the “tragedy of unexpected and unwanted pregnancies.” Do you see what I mean? Pregnancy is a “tragedy” – not a miracle of life. There’s that poisonous shift in our thinking. The creation of a new human being is a tragedy if we didn’t expect it or want it. The tragedy isn’t the new life; it’s our self-centered, warped perspective.

Okay then, let’s address it head-on. There is a solution to the problem of nearly all unwanted and unexpected pregnancies, but it’s the only one that nobody wants to talk about or consider seriously. The answer is so obvious, it just begs to be shouted out, but no one wants to do it because it’s the action that requires the most of us. As soon as I say it, I’ll be laughed at and called an idealistic nincompoop (or worse). I don’t care. It might not be politically correct, but it must be said!

We all know exactly how babies are made so if you are unwilling to lovingly accept a child into your life, then don’t have sex! Period.

Sex isn’t a right; it’s a profound gift that serves a profound purpose. It isn’t just a healthy, human activity; it’s also the ultimate expression of love and selflessness. It’s not a recreational pastime with no strings attached. Sex comes with some huge responsibilities, and if we’re not willing to accept ALL those responsibilities, we have no business having sex. It’s that simple.

The tragedy isn’t that women are unexpectedly pregnant; it’s that people are selfishly indulging in sex and then refusing to accept the natural outcome. Women do not simply “find themselves” pregnant, as though they had nothing to do with it. It isn’t magic that happens without their involvement. (In no way am I speaking here to women who are victims of violent assault. No woman chooses to be raped.)

Our real freedom and power lies in that very first choice: to have sex or not. Why are women only free and empowered if they have the “right” to kill their babies? Are we not capable of using our brains and connecting the dots? “If I choose to do this, here’s what will probably happen. It’s my life and my choice, so I’d better make the wise choice.” It seems to me that a woman who’s truly interested in preserving her choices will be smart and not put herself in a vulnerable position in the first place. I never said it was easy – only that it was simple. Our choices need to be made while we still have our clothes on.

Next comes the argument that not having sex is completely unrealistic and impossible, so we must have better birth control. Here again is the poisonous shift in our thinking. Birth control simply further engraves on our hearts the idea that pregnancy is a tragedy and babies are a burden to be avoided. When unexpected/unwanted pregnancy occurs, it isn’t because our birth control has failed, it’s because our sense of morality and responsibility has failed. The creation of new life should always be expected because that’s what sex is for! That’s why even married couples are called to abstain when they have serious reasons for not conceiving a child.

And let’s stop buying Planned Parenthood’s talking points that say many women have abortions because they think they have no other choice. Baloney. There are other choices, but they won’t be as convenient as killing the baby. It’s in Planned Parenthood’s best interest to portray women as pitiable, helpless, forgotten sufferers without any recourse besides abortion, but it’s a lie. Women need to stop wearing the victim mask and take responsibility for their life’s choices, the most important of which is whether or not to have sex. Where is a woman’s personal accountability in all of this? Where is a man’s?

It goes without saying that society must step up and care for the needs of pregnant women and their babies, encouraging all mothers to choose life. (I believe the Church works very hard to do that.) It also goes without saying that men and women need to think about the consequences of their actions and be willing to accept responsibility, and responsibility does not equal abortion.

Is everyone expected to be "perfect", in the sense of never making a mistake or exercise bad judgment? Of course not. I’m simply saying that when it comes to sex, we all know what happens! Our lapses in judgment can never, ever justify killing preborn babies. Once a new person enters the equation, the only choice that remains is LIFE. America needs to stop selling abortion as a legitimate and reasonable choice. It’s not a safety net or a back-up plan. We need to return to the knowledge that sex is sacred because life is sacred.

It’s time for a radical revolution of responsibility; a revolution of reverence for sex and reverence for life.It is time for a sexual counter-revolution which liberates men and women, honors marriage and reaffirms the beauty and dignity of human love in the Divine Plan.

-----

Jennifer Hartline is a Catholic Army wife and stay-at-home mother of three precious kids who writes frequently on topics of Catholic faith and daily living. She is a contributing writer for Catholic Online.

Deacon Keith Fournier asks that you join with us and help in this vital mission by sending this article to your family, friends, and neighbors and adding our link (www.catholic.org) to your own website, blog or social network. Let us broadcast, we are PROUD TO BE CATHOLIC!

Fr. James Farfaglia: Man To Man

A Book Review for Real Men

One of my favourite Catholic writers, Jennifer Hartline, writes a delightful review of the new book about men and for men by Father James Farfaglia. She calls it:

A challenging, provocative, wise, and thoughtful piece of instruction for all men on the subject of supreme importance – their faith.

And fellow men, we need it. Fr. Farfaglia's book is a call to holiness for men, something we all can aspire to, and can seek every minute of our days to our own delight and to the delight of our loved ones. To the best of my knowledge, there has never been a man who loved God enough to seek holiness, who was not in his being very lovable by those who saw him. With permission, here is what she has to say about this new book:

As I sit down to write this, there's a giggling tickle-fest going on in the living room. Daddy and his squirming, laughing kiddos are having a great time, and I am delighted. This happens regularly around here. I'm blessed to be married to a man who enjoys being with his children and isn't afraid to show his affection for them. Precisely the kind of dad Fr. James Farfaglia talks about in his new book, Man to Man: A real priest speaks to real men about marriage, sexuality and family life.

What I found when I read this book was much more than the title implies. Far from being just another marriage do-and-don't book, this is a challenging, provocative, wise, and thoughtful piece of instruction for all men on the subject of supreme importance – their faith. It's really a book about the spiritual life, and Fr. James wastes no time in telling readers flat-out that “If you are not going to live a very serious life of prayer and sacramental life, take this book and throw it in the garbage right now. Forget it. Do not waste your time.”

Right away you know this book isn't for sissies. This is straight talk, and Fr. James doesn't pull any punches or beat around the bush. He gets right to the heart of the matter, confronting the difficult topics without fear, always with a pastor's love.

Readers will be rewarded with Fr. James' refreshing directness about the real meaning of chastity, the difference between sex and making love, the difficulties of marriage, the importance of leadership in the family, the role of a father in the home, and most of all, the necessity of a committed life of prayer.

He begins by tackling our culture's obsession with sex and lust and the damage that has done to marital love. We need to go back to square one and learn what love really is, and how true love finds expression in marriage. Many readers may be surprised to see the words “chastity” and “marriage” in the same sentence! Fr. James illuminates the virtue of chastity and shows us how it is not only possible within marriage but essential, for chastity leads us to greater love.

Wives will be glad to know that Fr. James implores men to be tender, affectionate, romantic, and gentlemanly. He insists that husbands must learn to talk with their wives and be willing to listen! Lest the men despair that Fr. is being one-sided, he also reminds the ladies that marriage is not a one-way street, and women must help their husbands to understand them and make the effort to understand their man. He unflinchingly discusses the beauty of sexual love in marriage, and the right way to approach this intimate gift.

As I've said, this book is really a call to live a holy life, and Fr. James leaves no wiggle room in this regard. “Stop living in your head, journey to your heart, and start learning how to love. If you really love your wife and family, stop sinning. Real men know how to love correctly.” He goes down the list of our day's most invasive forms of temptation: the Internet, TV, movies, pornography, adultery, alcohol and drugs, and lays it on the line. If you cannot master the temptation, radical changes must take place. “Fidelity requires manly courage and self-mastery.”

Faithfulness and happiness are simply not possible without a serious life of prayer, and Fr. James isn't shy about telling men they can't make excuses anymore. Prayer can't wait til there's a crisis: “The spiritual life must not be based upon need. God is not a soft drink machine. Nor is God a candy store. It is time to get out of the nursery school and grow up.”

“A serious life of prayer, Eucharistic life, and devotion to Mary are essential ingredients for any real man that wants to be authentic.”

“Not only are we to fight against sin, be it mortal sin or venial sin, but we must also get to the root of our sins and remove the inordinate affections that cause us to sin in a certain way. However, to avoid sin is not enough. We must grow in holiness.”

With loving firmness and encouragement he reminds men, “Remember, the goal of our spiritual life is to become a new person in Christ. It is not enough just to be a 'good person' or to be 'nice.' We are called to be saints.”

I cheered out loud when he talked about the importance of being a gentleman and extending the chivalrous acts of kindness that have sadly disappeared in our society. I actually feel sorry for men today in many ways. Radical feminism has emasculated men and denied them the opportunity to be the men they were created to be. I nodded in agreement when he said, “It is true that a wife wants her husband to be manly. Manliness means that a man is going to be a leader.” Fr. James leads the charge for men to reclaim their leadership role in their homes and families, with the clear understanding that a Catholic husband and father is always a true gentleman who loves unconditionally.

I also loved that he tells men they can't ignore their responsibility in shaping their children's spiritual lives, in forming their character, teaching them good manners, and how to properly interact with the opposite sex. He gently instructs fathers they must be loving and affectionate with their children, and spend a lot of time with them. There's no substitute for a father who's present.

Bottom line, this book is solid guidance for any man who's serious about being the best Catholic man, husband and father he can be. Fr. James is true to authentic Catholic teaching in every way, including the holy obligation that married love remain open to new life. This book is not only worth reading, it's worth giving.

In fact, this book will give in more ways than one. In a fund-raising effort, sales of this book will be used to help start a Catholic elementary school in Fr. James' parish community. Your cost includes shipping, and all proceeds go toward founding the new school. Check out his website at www.mantomanbook.com. Order a copy of this marvelous book and you'll give as great a blessing as you'll receive.

-----

Jennifer Hartline is a Catholic Army wife and stay-at-home mother of three precious kids who writes frequently on topics of Catholic faith and daily living. She is a contributing writer for Catholic Online.

Men, I suggest that we all run out and get us a copy of this book.