tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4248478318892426116.post9062242625340267665..comments2024-02-20T17:48:55.571-05:00Comments on Freedom Through Truth: It's Not About Sexual AbuseMichael Brandonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17557797099650457723noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4248478318892426116.post-43265677918106872792010-04-18T11:38:30.629-04:002010-04-18T11:38:30.629-04:00More.
http://freethroughtruth.blogspot.com/2010/0...More.<br /><br />http://freethroughtruth.blogspot.com/2010/04/its-not-about-sexual-abuse-part-2.htmlMichael Brandonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17557797099650457723noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4248478318892426116.post-65561298047983303202010-04-16T17:30:00.003-04:002010-04-16T17:30:00.003-04:00Dear Lady Janus:
As your comments are worthy of d...Dear Lady Janus:<br /><br />As your comments are worthy of deeper thought and communication than just a return comment, I shall endeavour to present a cogent response in the morrow.<br /><br />Having been cut to the quick (well maybe to the slow) by your comment to my article about your previous comment, I shall write about your current comment in a subsequent article, thereby perpetuating (I hope) the cycle, as we continue to grow in understanding of each other's minds.<br /><br />Thank you for sharing, Registered Witch Lady Janus.Michael Brandonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17557797099650457723noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4248478318892426116.post-9966073812517878762010-04-16T17:19:38.044-04:002010-04-16T17:19:38.044-04:00"Yet, my commenter wanted to lump the shame t...<i>"Yet, my commenter wanted to lump the shame that they universally feel (in my experience with them) as something that was the fault of Catholic Church teaching on sexuality. That is a disingenuous comment, and frankly not worthy of her, nor me, and especially not worthy of all the men, women, boys and girls who have had their lives turned upside down by sexual abuse."</i><br /><br />Apparently, I wasn't making myself clear. I wasn't "lumping" anything with anything -- I was actually trying to clarify a point about the shame that is often felt by some victims of abuse. Let me try again...<br /><br />The feeling of shame is not something with which we are born. It is something we are <i>taught</i>. Ditto for the concept of sin and forgiveness and wrongdoing and all those other emotionally driven negativities with which some of us beat ourselves up (mostly 'cause we're also taught that if we don't beat ourselves up, then somebody else will).<br /><br />The Church teaches that sex outside the confines of a proper marriage bed is a sin, and that you <i>need</i> to be ashamed of your sins! It makes no exception to the rule.<br /><br />So...what happens when a bigger, stronger person -- especially one with authority and <i>knowledge</i> on his side -- subjects a smaller, weaker, meeker person to an ordeal that the smaller person knows is sinful. He's not consenting, but he cannot refuse. He has been taught that such things are sinful, but he has no choice. And so he becomes ashamed -- shamed by his inability to prevent his being abused as well as shamed by the nature of the abuse itself. <br /><br />I've known people who were severely depressed about their past as abused children who were told to "offer up their pain" and pray.<br /><br />That. Does. Not. Help.<br /><br />Abusers depend heavily on the victim's shame to keep him silent. Shame wounds the victim further and helps the abuser get away with his crime. That needs to stop.<br /><br />But it won't stop until the Church's teaching on sexuality changes (and first and foremost, it must start teaching that sexual abuse is not about <i>sex</i> -- it is about <i>abuse</i>!) It has changed in the past. It needs to change again.Janus Bellatorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05467165902363025714noreply@blogger.com